Living a rich and purposeful life - EP 3

In this the final episode of three with Stephen Armytage, he discusses what it means to live a rich and purposeful life. Stephen explains that his goal in sharing this course, and his overall mission, is to leave the world in a better shape than he found it. He reveals the secret to achieving this is coming from a place of abundance and connection.

Stephen believes that living a rich and purposeful life means being the best husband, father, son, and community member possible, together with acknowledging the enrichment that this creates.

Stephen discusses the common misconception that people who have a good start in life don't struggle and are happy. He says that everyone starts somewhere, and we all have different starting places. He understands that some people don't believe they have the power, permission, or deserve to live this way. Stephen emphasises that improving yourself is possible, regardless of your starting point.

To learn more about how to live an abundant and fulfilling life retreat, beginning May 31st, 2023, head to LARPL to register or sign up to the mailing list to hear about future events. You may also want to check out Gymea Eco Retreat, the stunning spot in Northern NSW where Stephen is holding the retreat. I'll be attending and hope to see you there for what promises to be a powerful and transformative five-day experience.

Transcript

Jeremy Melder: 0:00

Hello, my name is Jeremy melder. And I'm the presenter from beaming green. Before we start, I would like to acknowledge that this podcast is being held on the traditional lands of the Bundjalung people and paying our respects to elders both past, present and emerging. Welcome to Season Two of beaming grain. Now available on YouTube or your favorite podcast platform, we offer a array of inspiring guests speaking about their life experiences, on topics, including sustainable living, environmental issues, and human sustainability. So whether you're a seasoned eco warrior, or just starting your sustainability journey, beaming Green has something for everyone. So join us for season two. And let's bring some green together. So welcome back, Stephen. I was a little break was good. Yeah, yeah. So the way I'm doing Episode Three now. And

Stephen Armytage: 1:16

so I haven't I haven't gotten out a costume change this time, no

Jeremy Melder: 1:19

costume change makeup, nothing made just a glass of water. And we had a bit of a nice interlude and connected to ourselves, connected to Earth, and paying some respect to our Aboriginal elders past and present and emerging. And showing some gratitude, which is really important, isn't it?

Stephen Armytage: 1:45

Totally, if we can feel it. Yeah, it's really important for me.

Jeremy Melder: 1:51

So Stephen, I want to ask you a question. So you've now got living a rich and purposeful life? What does that mean to you?

Stephen Armytage: 2:04

Good question. So for me my agenda is to support us as campers to leave the world in a better shape than we arrived. And to do that, we need to come from a place of abundance. Camp from a place of I would love rather than a place I must or have to should do. And so when I then decompose that because I'm analytical, I went so what does that state look like? And that state, to, you know, genericized it somewhat is to live a life that is rich, and purposeful. And that is full of enrichment. A thriving life. But thriving is kind of like it's an overused, I mean, I you know, but but to thrive, in essence, to come from a place of abundance and come from a place of connection. So, and that's really, once I, you know, found out root cause of my, you know, spectacular midlife crisis, I went towards the things that was going to be supporting me to make the most positive contribution, because I have an innate belief that a sustainable future. A big element of that is that it's a win win. Yeah. So now if there's three people at the table, you me and say, Mother Nature, that we all can win in that exchange? Yeah. And I, you know, and I don't believe this notion of compromise, you know, all relationships have to be compromised. All of our laws have to, you know, there's an element of compromise. And, you know, we have to kind of average things down so that, you know, it's about statistics, I don't actually think that, that that actually supports us to, to get to a sustainable world. I think it just, if we don't have Win win, yeah, then we're all getting something less than what we would love. It's true. So for me, living a rich and sustainable living a rich and purposeful life is about when when I turn up as the best husband as the best father, the best made the best son, the best community member that I possibly can be. And I feel good about that. I feel enriched by that process. It's not about drawing down my resources to do that. I do that because that's why I would love and that support to me to be a better man. That's what it's about for me.

Jeremy Melder: 4:45

Thanks for answering that. Now, I also want to ask you what are some of the common misconception about living a rich and purposeful life?

Stephen Armytage: 4:57

Well, I mean, the conspiracy theory right for There's, there's a lot of people in my orbit that go on, as if they really feel like they don't have the power to do that, or the permission to do that. Or they're not deserving of that. It's for somebody else. You know, and I have friends dear friends to me that kind of accused me that I'm, I have a great life because of my parents or because of my context or because I'm white and male and big and, you know, well educated and I got a good start in life and all that kind of stuff. And I, yes, I do, I have all that. And my peer group that I've got all that as well, some, you know, it's a really variable, it's a really variable situation, and lots of them are desperately unhappy. And I look at those guys, and I go, we actually started with a better hamper than I did. So I, I understand that I am privileged, I recognize that. But that doesn't stop me from knowing that to raise my vibration, to improve my position to, to live an abundant life and enrich life and to make a contribution. There's a lot of work that I need to be done that needs to be done.

Jeremy Melder: 6:14

And I got to say, you know, I'll pay homage to that, because you do want to improve yourself, it doesn't matter where you started from, right? I think we all can, you know, doesn't, you know, if you started below the water, and you had no oxygen, and you had to come up for oxygen, and then start from where we all started from somewhere. And if we want to look at what we're aspiring for, and go through some of those speed bumps, because no doubt, we'll all have speed bumps, then we'll get there. But yeah, we all start have different starting places. So I think you've hit the nail on the head, you know, so yes, so if someone will compare all of us will all be compared, you know, I compare, you know, and then we have, look, I've done that as well. Probably done that with you, as well. You know, I used to have a good starting starting life, you know, well educate all those things. Very good. I come from, you know, Sri Lanka and third world country suffering from, you know, social issues. And, and yeah, look, I'm grateful that I've come to Australia, given me opportunity. So I have you learned where I started from, and I've tried to progress my self in some way. And that's what you've done?

Stephen Armytage: 7:33

Well, and you haven't I'm what I would say to that is, is don't make an excuse. True, if we want to evolve, then don't make an excuse.

Jeremy Melder: 7:45

It's almost like playing a bit of a victim, isn't it? Exactly.

Stephen Armytage: 7:49

Yeah. So that, that that's another great one, right? It's like, you're worthy. But I'm not worthy, or you got this, but I can't. Because of this, it's making an excuse. And my experience is that we are connected to the most enormous creative force. And this is sounding woowoo. But it's my experience that there are many, many, many examples of people that start with nothing, and have huge tragedy in their lives. And they achieve more way more than their peer group, they achieved more than everybody. And these are the icons, right? And they didn't, they aren't finding excuses not to in Isay evolve, but to achieve what they would love. So for me, lapo is about providing some of the fundamentals that I would have liked to have learned in school, I had a good education wasn't a great education. Because I got out, I didn't work out that I actually didn't was interested in learning until I left university. But the thing is that the people that achieve and there's a whole question around success versus fulfillment that I would, you know, maybe we get into now, but you're only giving me 20 minutes. So unlikely viewers

Jeremy Melder: 9:04

always gone over, but that's okay.

Stephen Armytage: 9:08

But, for me, success is to be fulfilled, to be being successful as being fulfilled. And that can be right now, you know, if I achieved to this point, then I'd be feeling fulfilled because I've thrown everything at it. I've done my best. Yeah. I take, you know, feedback from other people, you know, good, bad and ugly. Sometimes I react to that. Maybe most of the time. But I do my best. So constructive feedback, destructive feedback. It's all feedback. And that gives me an ability to be able to have an objective view that's outside of my frame. And if there's an opportunity to improve an aspect, like I said, I'm an optimizer. And for me, I'm an innate educator. So If I have a learning experience, then then I want to put that into a framework that can be then shared. Because I'm, I lament the fact that we're such an evolved species. And yet, everybody seems to have to learn this fundamental stuff by route for themselves. And it's not a very efficient way to go. And that might have been okay. For past the problem is that we're, we're actually destroying the future of our species potential to thrive in the process. And I have a problem that, so that's why I'm doing what I'm doing. And hey, there's no compromise in that either. Because I think I'm a better man as a function of that. Yeah, I think I'm a better friend. I think I beat you, but only you can tell me that. And my wife can tell me am I a better husband than I was before? And was Am I a reasonable dad? And you know, do I turn up at the Rural Fire Service? Am I a good guy there? Am I Am I just bullshitting myself? And I think we can bullshit ourselves. And objectivity is the antidote for that. But what's the excuse for excuses? If we excuse ourselves? Because, you know, because of, I can't do that, because of that's really detrimental. So yeah, there's Well, thanks

Jeremy Melder: 11:19

for silencing that is a partial rent for you. So I think you were talking this week about gratitude? And where do you think gratitude fits in to living a rich and purposeful life? Because I think the honor for me, I think gratitude is come into my sphere only in the last sort of 10 years, where I am actually looking at it and going, what am I really grateful for every day. And it does help to alleviate some of that burden, by looking at things in a different light of gratitude.

Stephen Armytage: 12:05

So I'm a novice at gratitude. I did a Facebook live about on Monday, Tuesday. So I've kind of been skeptical about gratitude, it kind of sounded really woowoo. To me, I didn't really get it. So I'm probably not the best guy, you've probably can, can talk chapter of us about the value of gratitude, but, but I can, I can give you my own personal experience. And once again, I take an analytical view, and I have a disposition towards depression kind of blackdog, my dad had it, I've got a bit of it. It's not necessarily bad, but it's something that I need to manage on an active basis. And I find gratitude is the antidote for that. And I really just learned that in a in the most powerful way, where I went through a three minute process, I was feeling overwhelmed. And that kind of is the spiral for my you know, and it's depression, clinical depression, it's just a depressive cycle that can take a week, or a day, or three days or a month to work through. And in that process, I'm not turning up at my full potential, so therefore, I'm compromising mine, my environment and myself, my relationships, I tend to get angry quicker, I tend to get more frustrated more quickly. I tend to do shit that, that I, you know, if I'm in a great frame, but I don't do or I do less of, I'm an optimizer. So what is gratitude do for me, being grateful for the things doesn't need to be like 1000 things, it's like, what what things am I grateful for, and to focus on those and I started with my wife, and then I went to my kids, and then I went to my, you know, my relationships and, and that was almost enough. And I found that that this depressive cycle got nipped in the bud and then I was able to then move into a more functional state. And then from there, I was able to take, you know, kind of uncomfortable action or courageous action, because gratitude helps a change of state, but without action. It's pretty invaluable because sitting in my head, gets depression sits in my head. And this notion of gratitude sits in my head. And if I just sit in my head, and I don't take action, you know, what for? So for me, taking purposeful action, is the bit that needs to come next, and I'm constantly trying to, you know, beat my head, because my head doesn't always support me as best as I could. My frame of reference is not objective. I mean, I don't know how much comes from us. subjective kind of what's that word for the subconscious? The subconscious mind kind of rules the roost, right? I mean, there's, you know, these people are talking about, and there's a lot of psychology around this, our view of the world is set by somebody who's less than seven years old. So we're fighting, potentially a battle, potentially losing battle with an orientation from a seven year old, or a six year old, or a five year old, who was unloved or whatever. So for me, how do we say gratitude, I've just understood helps me to be an antidote to some of that. wiring. Yeah, and like I said, I'm not a master at it. But I'm, you know, I'm doing my best.

Jeremy Melder: 15:53

Well, thank you for being so honest about where you're at. I've got another question for you. You said, how can one cultivate a meaningful relationship to contribute to living a rich and purposeful life?

Stephen Armytage: 16:10

Well get enriched, the work starts with you getting rich, you know, and it's a bit like, you know, you want to be you want to be a good, you want to be a good husband, then be a good person to start with, but be happy with yourself. Because you can't serve another on a sustainable basis, without being prepared to serve yourself in equal measure. And I would urge you to serve yourself really well, so that you have the capacity to serve others. And for me, so firstly, it's Find Enrichment For your soul retrieval, enrichment. And then from that place, and this, that's not, that's not being self serving or selfish. It's just honor yourself and find the things that float your boat, that puts in a fuel in the tank. And then from there, resonate on the things that help you to be enriched in the first place to identify purpose, and then find ways that your purpose can be applied to serve others. And if you can apply your purpose to serve others in a meaningful way, then that's good for them. And it's also good for you because you then become fulfilled and fulfilled is a really, it's a good thing to aspire for. And it's way better than going for success, which is very externally oriented. fulfillment comes from within. So when you feel fulfilled, I don't know about you, but when you think of fulfilled you feel kind of full. Absolutely. And gratitude in there, right? Yeah. Because you go, Hey, I'm grateful because I did this thing. That feels really good for me. And it's so good for the person that I just did it with. Yeah, we both won one. It's a win win. Yeah, there is no compromise in that. And I feel like I feel really fulfilled and incredibly grateful for you to give me this opportunity to share this in a way that could potentially serve another. Yeah,

Jeremy Melder: 18:33

that's important. Let's just keep this shit away. Right? Yeah. Look, I really liked this. Well, no, let me just be honest, I've always, you know, had a hard time of putting myself first. Right? Yeah, he's cheating. You remember the analogy of the, you know, you go on a plane and they say, you know, fasten your seat belts, you know, the oxygen masks mask for yourself first. Well, I was that guy that made you

Stephen Armytage: 18:59

were putting the oxygen in the entire cabin. And unfortunately, you died in the process.

Jeremy Melder: 19:06

So anyway, I'm a slow learner. So I'm learning about this whole thing about looking after myself. But I think there's a lot of people like me, you know, that I've just gone off being brought up in a certain way. And I think that is the way that you live your life looking after others. And then you end up burnt out. And then if you like me, resentful, that you've done all of this, but you don't know why you're resentful. Right? But it's then coming back to yourself. And then when I came back to myself, it was like, Ah, fine look after myself. I get the oxygen mask first. It's only going to benefit all others around me. And look, if you can do this earlier than it's taken me. It would be great for you because it is Really important, looking after yourself. It's the number one thing that you need to do. And learning to love yourself is another important thing. And I think Steven will echo this as well, would you not?

Stephen Armytage: 20:15

Totally? Yep. And I mean, we all come pre configured differently, right? So I think, for me, it's, it's different from everybody for everybody, right? So we're all unique beings, and the problem with a retreat or a course or a learning or whatever, when somebody's telling you what the answer is, it, that's the answer for them. But it may not be the answer for you. But no question. Everybody needs to look after themselves. Otherwise, they will, at some point burn out like you did, you know, and things will manifest by your, you know, your rheumatoid arthritis manifested probably from that place, right. And that, for me is like, what happens when we aren't, you know, listening to what's going on. And the message is just going to knock on the desk, the messages from wherever they come from the universe, or ourselves agenda or whatever, they just get, the knocking just gets stronger and stronger. Till literally, we are playing Russian roulette with everything that we hold near and dear, including our health. And depending on how far we let that go down it then may, it may provide us with a life long, limp, or condition. But it's not life's not over. It's just, it's like it's adding interesting texture to, frankly, Perfections not that great. Yeah, you know, a scar here and a mole there, and a receding hairline. There.

Jeremy Melder: 21:48

So I was worried about how I look my getting a bit bold,

Stephen Armytage: 21:51

as much as as much as we don't like that. It's like it goes to the character of who we are. So you know, and it's ongoing lesson. And so you've got your rheumatoid arthritis. And there's a whole bunch of things that you do to respond, to turn it up as best as you possibly can. I recognize that I've got my depression thing, right. And, you know, it's helpful, really, because it's like, it's like a dial in a race car, right? You got all this instrumentation that sitting there, my depression goes like this, then I'm not in the optimal state. If I'm full of energy, and I'm waking up literally, early in the morning, bright eyed, bushy tailed, I'm getting a download feeling like I've got more energy than and just, you know, life is just singing. Then all of my gauges are all sitting at you know, they're in the good to awesome to excellent. But when my depression starts getting darker, you know, something's gone wrong. Oh, shit, what's gone wrong? Go back to my circle of enrichment. What am I not doing? Yeah. Not feeling grateful for what? I've got shit, what have I got? I've got a lot. That's great. I've got I've just celebrated 29 years with the most awesome woman on the planet. Doesn't mean that she doesn't have faults, sign you have faults? Doesn't mean I don't have fault, son. I've got faults. But are we together after 29 years? Yes. am I grateful for that? Oh, my God, I am so grateful for that. And I'm kind of grateful for the fact that we've just been through this really tough time together. Because it now I just go like it's even better than it was and it is even better. But it's like that challenge somehow makes this even better. And I can't tell you objectively whether or not my relationship with my wife is better now than it was before. I think it is. But doesn't really matter. Because my frame is like, oh, party time fulfilled. You know, every all my gauges are right, and it's just getting better. And I feel like from. So it's like we kind of in this process, we need to trick our mind, to keep it supporting us to be making progress going forward. And raising our vibration.

Jeremy Melder: 24:03

Thanks for sharing that now. I guess. In terms of your course coming out, or weekend, whatever you'd like to call it. The retreat. There's a bit of work involved. Isn't there? What sort of? I wouldn't call it work, but what would you call it?

Stephen Armytage: 24:23

Firstly, firstly, you get way more than you put in. Sorry, you get way more than you'd imagine. So firstly, if you so it's four nights, five days, right? So if you choose to invest in yourself for five, five days, then you're gonna get something out of there. That's going to be extraordinary. So if you get nothing out then you're gonna get something really amazing. The second thing is that you're going to be doing that with other people that are doing that for themselves. But they're, they're co creating, and they're collaborating with you. So that effect is like a multiplying effect. And I think we've all been in situations where we go to a place, maybe for it's for a conference for work, or whatever, and it's the watercooler conversation, where we go, shit, that was just as valuable as what that Rockstar speaker was about. So that's the second factor. The third factor is that I have a curriculum that I know that will take you from a place where you don't want to be without the answers to a place where you know the answers. And you have an action plan more than an action plan, you have a routine that's going to propel you to where you would love to be. And it's a continuous process of improvement. Don't need to touch me again. So there's that. That's rock star. And it's proven, and it's, it's awesome. And it's going to evolve, and I'll find ways to share that of evolution as well. Because what do I lose, you know, it's all about making the campsite better than when we arrived. So I've got nothing to lose here. And if I can find a way to keep this away, you know, I'm going to do that. Without, you know, in a way that also supports me. Sure. So the next part of it is that you are going to be in the most stunning environment.

Jeremy Melder: 26:38

And I'd vouch for that. It's a beautiful place,

Stephen Armytage: 26:41

www dot guy me energy, why me a retreat, R e, t, r ea t.com.au. There's not a lot of compromise there, guys. I mean, he's stunning, northern New South Wales. This ability to be able to immerse in gorgeous nature, you know, and then you're going to be nurtured. So you're going to have a whole bunch of downtime that is going to support you to journal or to talk or to sleep or whatever it is, you need to integrate, because we're going to be integrating some big things because big stuffs going to happen in this. And this part of the world is incredibly powerful. I don't know why I think the mountains got something to do with it, the mountain mount warning. Well, London is like an icon. The indigenous people of this this land they've been, they understand the significance of this, of this mountain. And they come for ceremony and have come for a ceremony for 1000s of years, because they understand that it's it's a special part of the world. I don't know why it's a special part of the world, but it is a special part of the world. And the retreat center lives in this fold. It's very feminine supportive fold of land, that supports and holds you for the rock star and energy the amplifying energy that comes I think from the mountain. So the environment like off the charts. And then we're going to give you sound therapy, breath meditation, movement, medicine, yoga, writing exercises, intuitive exercises, meditate meditative exercises to help us to access those our inner arena guide our higher selves, our intuition, souls, energy cells, agenda, qualia, whatever you like. But it's that inner sense that gut feel, how do we connect to that, because that's a reliable source of energy. It's a reliable source of information. It's the most reliable source of information, and we can all have access to it. But we're not taught how to do that at school. This is a science guy, physics guy, computer science guy. I know this beyond a shadow of a doubt. So we're going to be accessing that but but as we access that, we need a lot of downtime to be able to support our adrenals to kind of come back. So there's those activities, there's the walk in nature, there's swimming in the magnesium pool that's 20 meters long and three meters deep, and is stunning. And you're gonna have a session and the spa. So there's heat and there's the cold, there's the steam room and the sauna. And you're gonna get a 60 minute relaxation massage. So, you know, to layer upon layer upon layer. And there's no one key element in that. But it all starts with you saying, Hey, I deserve this. I'm going to invest in myself. And if you just do that for five days, you get your money's worth, you know, do a personal retreat where you stay on track and, you know, you don't get engaged in that. Yeah. Because that's, you know, potentially the most valuable instrument that you can have in your hand and it's Pinterest, essentially the most detrimental instrument that you can have in your head. And it's about finding that dance the balance, so that That's what law pool is about love was about providing you with the environment to find those questions to find those answers that you are seeking, and to provide you with the most perfect environment to allow you to leapfrog into a state of thriving. That's, and I've done everything in my power to do that. And I've also done it, you know, at a price that's like,

Jeremy Melder: 30:22

Valuable,

Stephen Armytage: 30:23

incredibly valuable. And it's like, it's cheap compared to other, you know, experiences. And why? Well, partly, that's because I've got a very strong sense that this thing is going to work beautifully in a completely in a group environment. And we're still testing some things here that to make sure that they actually do fly. Now, will they raise the price in the future, I don't know, maybe possibly, I don't know. Well, I find a more efficient and effective way to be able to share this wisdom with others. I'm looking for those for those avenues right now. But I need to crack some tough nut, I need to make sure that this thing is industrial strength. And I've got a history of industrial strength things. That's where I started my career with industrial strength, things that are reliable and dependable. And it doesn't matter what you throw at them, they're going to work. And that I believe is what the framework is about. And then I've just encapsulated it in an environment that is just incredibly supportive. So yeah,

Jeremy Melder: 31:22

I think you kind of hit the nail on the head there, you know, industrial strength. Mr. Steven Armitage. That's that's what I'm, that's what you're really about. And you've been striving for this for a long time. And I know that I can vouch for that as a, as an observer of your life, or witnessed of your life, and a person that is coming from the right place in what you're wanting to achieve and what you're wanting to do, and share with good people. So I would like to invite people to, you know, take part in this beautiful journey that you can take part in in on the 31st of May, it starts and finishes concludes on the What date is it the

Stephen Armytage: 32:05

Sunday June the fourth, so it starts on the Wednesday afternoon. And then it goes until the Sunday like 1030 and 11 o'clock gives people to get there on time, but to take the Wedensday off to get there probably. And then you've got the Sunday to go home. And I want you to take the Monday off as well. So that you can integrate get the most out of this. CSI it's it's the 31st of May, to the fourth of June. And I would just say that this is this has been 14 years in the making. And and I pretty much thrown everything at that. So yeah, it's it's industrial strength. And that that, for me is the key. And the major will be you know, that people get the answers that they you know, they get more than the answers that they're seeking. And that's the experience that I've had with people that have gone, they've taken the journey with me before. They kind of get to the midpoint they go, Oh, wow. Okay, I am completely satisfied. I'm like, Yeah, that's great. We're

Jeremy Melder: 33:02

know, I'm very satisfied customer as well. And only halfway through, as you I think my wife is too so it's awesome. So Stephen, thank you so much for joining beaming green on this journey of sharing your journey because it's a three part series that we've shared with our listeners. And don't forget, go to large apple.com.au and register. And if you're looking for more information from beaming green, go to beaming green.com and look forward to seeing it maybe next episode. Thanks again. Steven Armitage. See ya.

Stephen Armytage: 33:40

Thanks, Jeremy. Really, really appreciate this opportunity to connect with you and to connect with with your audience.

Jeremy Melder: 33:48

Thanks for tuning in to beaming green don't forget to check out our YouTube channel at painting green.com And leave us a review on your preferred podcast platform or subscribe to us on YouTube. And a special thanks to Dave Weir and to Roman Sanic from Pixabay for producing some amazing music. Keep living green and we'll see you next time. Bye